Not Another Whisky Blog

Whiskey on the Move

Caveat: Drinking and driving is fucked. Don’t do it.

One Saturday in late August of 2022 I was running behind schedule to get from Tacoma to Seattle for Bourbon Bonanza, an annual whiskey festival fielded by likeminded whiskey nerds. My original plan to close the shop early was foiled by a steady flow of customers that afternoon. So instead of leisurely showering, changing outfits, and casually sipping on a whiskey until my rideshare arrived, I was flustered and sweating by the time I ordered my car. Further hampering my plans, the driver accepted the fare only minutes away from my home, so there was no time to sit and enjoy a dram before heading out the door.

Here was my dilemma: do I shoot something quickly before walking out, sacrificing any sense of enjoying the whiskey? Do I forego the pregame all together? How could I still enjoy a few sporty sips to prime my palate before the main event? This was the list of the problem sets that ran through my mind:

1. Even though I’d be in a rideshare, I still did not want to draw attention to my open container. So, the whiskey had to be housed in a discreet vessel that wouldn’t jangle, clink, or slosh in the vehicle.
2. I was heading into a ticketed event which did not allow attendees to bring in their own alcohol. Additionally, I didn’t want to bring my nice flask and risk losing it among the impending revelry. So, it had to be a container that I wouldn’t mind tossing in the trash once I arrived.
3. It had to be large enough to hold more than a couple of sips, but small enough to fit in a pocket; and again, able to discreetly swig in the back seat of my rideshare.
4. Due to the driver’s arrival time, I had mere seconds to decide on what I wanted to drink AND pour it into a container.

That’s when I saw it. The perfect road whiskey. I had just recently made a selection for an Elijah Craig barrel pick, and the samples came in 200ml plastic flasks. Conveniently, I had a delicious barrel proof bourbon, within a small, quiet, grab-and-go container. Upon my arrival it could be tossed in the trash, and I would be primed for Bourbon Bonanza.

I now present to you ranked in order from amateur to pro, my list of drinking vessels while maneuvering:

While always available in a pinch, this method likely hasn’t been employed since your high school or college party days. This tactic should also really only be used if you’re looking to get absolutely blammered. The water bottle scores big points for sharable size, as you’re probably passing the bottle around to your pals and chasing your booze with a Mountain Dew. Extra credit tacked on if you’re drinking a clear spirit; you can basically drink this out in the open and it’ll appear like you’re just drinking water. Ease of disposal is also prime not only because the water bottle is already trash, but the vanilla vodka or flavored whiskey that you’re drinking is garbage too. Major points deducted for looking like a hot mess.

If you fancy yourself a whiskey nerd and spend enough time with other geeks, you likely have 200 of these lying around your house filled with god knows what from random trades with members of your Facebook group. Big points here for discretion – you can palm this bottle easily while you sip, and fits in any pocket. Low points for volume, especially if you’re sharing the juice. If you bring multiple, you run the risk of clanking in your pocket. Another drawback, while it’s not a huge deal tossing these in the trash, I do typically like to save and reuse them. These can be a gamble because you can’t always trust the label on them, or maybe the sharpie that was used has worn off. Got tons of these lying around? Grab a handful blind and just go with it. You might end up with the George T. Stagg that your buddy sent you, complimented perfectly with that 60 proof peanut butter “whiskey” from a “craft distillery” in North Dakota.

You may not have too many of these lying around if you don’t work in the industry. My choice for the perfect road whiskey. Small, manageable bottle. Silent sipping. High probability there’s something delicious inside… unless you’re the one responsible for making terrible barrel picks (*cough* Total Wine! *cough*). Really the only downside to this option is that while it’s just a plastic bottle, they’re still kind of cool to hold on to and collect. It’s neat to look back on all the barrel picks I’ve selected or passed on. But maybe that’s just the hoarder in me.

This is pro level. You have enough foresight to know that your evening likely won’t get too rowdy – running the risk of losing your flask while twerking on the dance floor. Flaskmanship is an art. You score points for style, that’s for sure. Especially if it’s one of my McCallum & Sons crest branded flasks. But you better be ok with that thing bumping around in your pocket or purse for the rest of the night. Perfect for soirees like weddings, birthdays, or an elevated night out. Avoid bringing to scenes of rambunctious debauchery. Risk of loss aside, everyone is going to want to know what’s in it. If you’re playing by the rules and filling your flask with juice at the opposite end of the spectrum of what goes in the water bottle, it might be tough to share.

Are you at hot mess? Sleek pro? Somewhere in between? Let me know your preferred pregame vessel in the comments.